172# | Stay Around

So many days passed since you've been here for the last time,
pages of the calendar spun like threads of our lifes,
it's almost unbelievable how so many things could have went wrong,
it's ever suprising how life can get thicker and thicker with every new event in it,
days grow longer and nights get darker,
you start to register that universe suddenly burns faster
and yet you still feel those few last months like all these years packed together,
just more intense
heavier both on your back and soul.

You found plenty of things of which you believe that they somehow improve or change your life in the good way,
but as always,
it comes with a price,
I have to admit
I really believe it!
This karma thing, jing jang thing, good and evil thing. It just all plays together a brilliant symphony in my head. Just look! Violin there, cello over, drums in the back, vocals on the right...it fits in perfectly.
Ever I encounted some sort of situation which could label itself as a "delicate one", I always find some sort of scheme in it, like in a game, it's all there.
So it comes with a price. I have never been in a hole so deep, like now. Like in that song, "my steady systematic decline". Just when you think it can't get worse, guess what - it gets. And not like, a little bit. I am talking about shits SQUARED.
For every little good thing it find, you can bet on that there are at least three to four buts and noes round the corner.
This time, the story gets different.
Alot in general, yet its still the same.
Its desperate.

Anyways. I have to say, that even now, when I return to share my piece of cake, I find it relaxing. Its good for the soul. It will always be there, no matter what (this way or another).
Remember
The only one you can really trust
is you.