173# | For The Night Lights

2011

I been through so many cats

I know what a Nubian is

I've seen much

I've done much

now my path...

...I can't really tell what is happening. Where am I?

What if you just passed through your hell

only because there was a devil in front of you

all the time, and you were chasing him down to the unimaginable depths,

and true is he was somehow pulling you up

yet with every single step your chase grew wearier and wearier

and your resolve started to fail

and suddenly

there was no devil.

You just ended standing in the same hell you were before...reminds one of a YoYo

he'd pull you up, but as soon as he's gone you just fall back to where you were

Cycled

I learned one thing through out the last few months

a bad plan is better than no plan

and it may sound silly

but I believe walking on shards of broken glass hurts less than standing on them

may it be some sort of mental illusion

in the means of hope and progress

but it's just fucking true

I may be young

but I am getting old

I am bleeding myself dry

withered

with every another step on this bed of coals

made of myself

I am not getting as far as thinking this state is permanent

I do hope so that this will somehow end

yet one fear clutches my heart tight

and I can't deny

I've spotted some...proofs

that I won't leave this in a good shape

unchanged

I am afraid this piece of glass was shattered

and that I will carry the cracks with me 

that these scars will endure

I am starting to scare myself

for the future

I don't want to forget 

love